lanathemother · Uncategorized

The challenge

Everything after delivering your child seems to be different. At first your body, oh! It’s the most annoying thing. Every time I looked in the mirror, I felt like there’s still something inside my tummy, maybe they forgot someone ๐Ÿ˜‰

That was so difficult to me, because I thought I’ll lose weight right away. All my clothes didn’t fit me, my pregnancy clothes look too big, and my ordinary ones are too tight ๐Ÿ˜ฆ Besides the breakouts on my skin. And if you suffered from acne during pregnancy, you may begin to see some improvement now! Any stretch marks that developed will gradually become lighter in color, though they won’t disappear altogether, and your tummy will look a bit flabby and wrinkly. Also for losing your hair! When your hair start to shed in handfuls, you’ll start to panic. I had that feeling of hating myself that made me unable to fulfill my duties as a mother.

Don’t forget all the pain that the mother goes through during and after childbirth. Your breasts will become engorged. When milk comes in, your breasts may get swollen, tender, hard, throbbing, and uncomfortably full. Your womb is shrinking back to its normal size and position, and you may have afterpains as it contracts down. It often happens while you are breastfeeding. That is because the hormone oxytocin, which encourages your womb to contract, is released while you’re feeding. It also can cause redder or heavier blood loss.

All the changes that happen to the body are entirely new. Sometimes I felt just like I wanted to cry, with no reason. I’m just tired of everything. So often I just couldn’t sleep, although I was too exhausted. That made the challenge more painful. Getting angry; since I’m suffering aย lack of sleep, knowing not to do with my new tasks! A lot of arguments happened between my husband and me that I didn’t have an apparent reason for being upset. The hardest thing to do is to live up to the people’s expectation, where they expect you to be happy, satisfied with your new life, despite all the challenges of being a new mother!

After delivery I had that feeling of being overwhelmed, emotional and tearful, becoming easily frustrated, my mood was unstable, indifferent to my husband and my baby, and a wished I never existed! Also being unable to cope, let alone being hungry all the time, with no appetite, and unable to eat, all that made my husband disappointed, having no idea what I was going through. I had to see other old mothers, and discussed all that they went through! I knew then it’s all considered normal, as the postnatal depression.

Postnatal depression is a fact, though there’s no known reason for it. But most men don’t know that their wives are going through this, even though they feel that they aren’t quite well. Maybe they think that having a baby should be just a happy occasion with no efforts. Imagining that after delivery the mother will come back to the way she was right away, be glad and pleased for adding a new family member, that she has overcome the most difficult thing in her life; being pregnant, and all after this is just her normal life back again!

I’m sure there must be a lot of understanding, sympathetic, and patient husbands. New fathers may also feel depression, it’s called paternal depression. I know it may be difficult, upsetting, and frustrating to live with someone who has PND, but it’s important to support your wife, not to blame her. This is where I would like to thank my husband for being supportive, and for every minute he stood beside me in my ups and downs. It was a new experience for both of us. But We’re both glad we passed this hard phase.

The Postnatal depression that the mother experiences after giving birth is just like she has lost someone. After being with her baby for nine months, (be used to share her life with), feels intimacy with her child as they are two souls in one body, living together, eating, sleeping, dreaming and breathing together. While he/she was in her womb, it was all her life, where she was thinking what to name him/her, what clothes to get, what room to pick, and what to do with it, what bed to buy, and where to put it. She had the feeling of being the protector, where her baby was always safe. Then suddenly she has to adjust herself to being apart from him/her, and feels like whatever she gives, is not enough.


4 thoughts on “The challenge

  1. Wow this sounds bery difficult. Thank you for writing such an honest post. Makes me a little nervous to have a baby in the future haha. I almost started tearing up as I read your struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, thank you for your nice comment ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s really difficult and beautiful at the same time.
      After all, I’m enjoying every minute of my baby’s life (he’s a toddler now ๐Ÿ˜‰ just the smile on his face makes everything worth it ๐Ÿ™‚


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